Skip to main content

Most Recent

The colours of my food

  About eighty percent of my food is vegetables. The intense green of the veggies comforts me. My best combination of colours is when I add something whitish, like the potatoes, to the deep green of the rest. Even if a lot of green with some white is for me the best combination of colours on my plate, I can't avoid other coloured veggies, just because I neurotically stick to that combination! And, honestly, I enjoy a lot the different colours I can eat. For instance now, pumpkin, red cabbage, and of course the green of some other vegetable is a great ensemble that gives me another kind of inner comfort when I prepare my food and when I have it on my plate! Colours help me in stimulating my expectations. Something that I have been missing in my growing up, therefore my problematic relationship with food. Eating alone helps me establishing a relationship I never develop with food. Also sitting at the table helps. Instead of eating en passant while doing something else I take my time...

Getting rid of bonds

 


Step after step, getting rid of bonds, malicious bonds, which hold you captive like in a mold, a matrix, you learned to consider your skin…

It takes time.

The first step is to realise you are in a mold. When you fully realise it, you just want to liberate yourself, and yet you can’t. Every time you try to cut the ties that keep you in the mold, you simply can’t. Fear and strong guilt feelings are the major hindrance. Therefore you step back, suddenly ashamed of yourself for that kind of pride that pushes you out of the common rules, daring too much. Now you see how wild you were. Submissive and obedient you feel docile and pious again, and the blessings pour onto you. You are back, well protected inside the mold.

And yet, after some time here it is again: that deep push inside. Again you feel tremendously lucid in your thoughts and feelings. You clearly see the inner prison which binds you like in a spell. You realise that indeed: it is a spell! And again you feel that terrible urge inside to severing ties. But you can’t. There is not enough strength inside.

Once again, the rebellious wave calms down and once more you humbly go back in the ranks.

Eventually, one day, totally out of the blue, without any sign that could reveal you were getting ready, something of minor importance happens, and you simply cut off everything which was still binding you to situations and people, holding you hostage in their emotional and pseudo moral blackmail! And you are out of the mold, out of the matrix. Surprised that everything happened without any effort, but very smoothly, simply and naturally!

Comments

Popular Posts