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Floating away

  A new inner choreography for a changing reality Little by little, the "texture" of the many memories that once furnished my mind is fading away. They no longer exist—not because I have erased them, but because they are no longer the same as they were when they first became my memories. ​It is like taking a photograph of a child. If you continue to see that child, the picture becomes a video that follows their development. But if you stop following that child’s adventure through life at some point, the video becomes a static image, frozen on the last shot. This is what gets stored in your memory. If you happen to meet the child again, he has become someone else, and something cringes deep inside. The memory is reset, yet the shadow of the previous one remains—at least for a while, until the new reality becomes your new inner choreography, building a fresh memory. ​At the moment, I am not renewing all that is fading away because I don't have the opportunity to create a ne...

Getting rid of bonds

 


Step after step, getting rid of bonds, malicious bonds, which hold you captive like in a mold, a matrix, you learned to consider your skin…

It takes time.

The first step is to realise you are in a mold. When you fully realise it, you just want to liberate yourself, and yet you can’t. Every time you try to cut the ties that keep you in the mold, you simply can’t. Fear and strong guilt feelings are the major hindrance. Therefore you step back, suddenly ashamed of yourself for that kind of pride that pushes you out of the common rules, daring too much. Now you see how wild you were. Submissive and obedient you feel docile and pious again, and the blessings pour onto you. You are back, well protected inside the mold.

And yet, after some time here it is again: that deep push inside. Again you feel tremendously lucid in your thoughts and feelings. You clearly see the inner prison which binds you like in a spell. You realise that indeed: it is a spell! And again you feel that terrible urge inside to severing ties. But you can’t. There is not enough strength inside.

Once again, the rebellious wave calms down and once more you humbly go back in the ranks.

Eventually, one day, totally out of the blue, without any sign that could reveal you were getting ready, something of minor importance happens, and you simply cut off everything which was still binding you to situations and people, holding you hostage in their emotional and pseudo moral blackmail! And you are out of the mold, out of the matrix. Surprised that everything happened without any effort, but very smoothly, simply and naturally!

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