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a surprising decision

Yesterday I came up with an incredible decision - "incredible" for my standard of approach to life. I decided I will take two weeks off. This week and the next are the "settimane di ferragosto", that is the feriae Augusti , in latin, still referring to a public holiday originated from the festival of Emperor Augustus who made 1 August (the month with his name!) a day of rest after weeks of hard work on the agricultural sector [Wikipedia]. In Italy it switched from the 1st of August to the 15th, making the two weeks containing this day the general Italian holidays where everything is closed. Especially years ago, the main cities and towns were completely empty, as everyone was enjoying their holidays at the see or in the hills or mountains! Besides we are in the second heat wave which is quite heavy. The first one in June was somehow more bearable - although the temperature did reach 38 degrees! - but previously we went through a relatively "cold...

Getting rid of bonds

 


Step after step, getting rid of bonds, malicious bonds, which hold you captive like in a mold, a matrix, you learned to consider your skin…

It takes time.

The first step is to realise you are in a mold. When you fully realise it, you just want to liberate yourself, and yet you can’t. Every time you try to cut the ties that keep you in the mold, you simply can’t. Fear and strong guilt feelings are the major hindrance. Therefore you step back, suddenly ashamed of yourself for that kind of pride that pushes you out of the common rules, daring too much. Now you see how wild you were. Submissive and obedient you feel docile and pious again, and the blessings pour onto you. You are back, well protected inside the mold.

And yet, after some time here it is again: that deep push inside. Again you feel tremendously lucid in your thoughts and feelings. You clearly see the inner prison which binds you like in a spell. You realise that indeed: it is a spell! And again you feel that terrible urge inside to severing ties. But you can’t. There is not enough strength inside.

Once again, the rebellious wave calms down and once more you humbly go back in the ranks.

Eventually, one day, totally out of the blue, without any sign that could reveal you were getting ready, something of minor importance happens, and you simply cut off everything which was still binding you to situations and people, holding you hostage in their emotional and pseudo moral blackmail! And you are out of the mold, out of the matrix. Surprised that everything happened without any effort, but very smoothly, simply and naturally!

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