Being an Asperger
(as I suppose all on the autistic spectrum) you have this deep feeling of not belonging. Because you are definitely different.
Before knowing about me being an Asperger I thought it was because we/I kept moving around in Europe and in different parts of Italy. In addition to that, my Italian part is far away from being Italian.
Being Italian is deeply connected to traditions and the belonging to the community, where your family is from. But when you are exiled your country cut you off. My exiled grandfather travelled the world, and his children were born in all continents (Asia apart). When you are exiled your country refused you and you refuse your ex country. You may even hate it! And for sure you keep none of its traditions.
This is how my father grew up in Cairo. British protectorate at that time, although it was quite international as well. The Europeans living there had their circles and schools. For instance my father and his brothers went to the British school. His sisters to the French one. At that time French was considered a must if you were a girl, and at my time too, considering I was sent to French learning class in my primary school, while already going to the British Council for English, that I always felt as my father's language and heritage.
All this background makes you completely different in whatever nation you end up in. And being an Asperger makes thing even sharper.
Aspergers are different human beings, our brains are different, we work and function in a different way. To me the most difficult diversity is social behaviour.
Normal people, or better said: Neurotypical individuals, fit completely into social cues, the nonverbal signals that help understand general (social) conviction and consequently the result behaviour.
Aspergers don't.
Asperger people take words literally. For instance, the time. If we agree we'll meet at three, I will be there at 14.55/57.
In the northern European countries this is also their habit. Punctuality is a form of reciprocal respect. Precision is accountability. Both are also the result of depth: your world doesn't consider just yourself, but the people, situations around you as well.
I fit perfectly in those country: I am precise, deep and wide in my considerations.
Not the same in the Mediterranean countries or, for instance in India where everything floats...
In Italy I had to enquire a lot of habits in order to understand how to behave. And the first one question was about punctuality. If I arrive at three o'clock sharp, and I always am "sharp" punctual, I will be perceived as awkward. If I get annoyed when people arrive at 3.15 and even later (as it is often the case, especially in central or even more in the south) I will be perceived as far more awkward!
Lately I have begun to reflect about the idea that we, Aspergers, may belong to other planets, even from some other galaxy outside the solar system. We simply don't fit with the "normal" humans.
Esotericism often explains that the Earth is similar to a seaport where humans from many different places land. Different people that all have human semblances but their inside is fundamentally different.
You often find the definition of "soulless". Where the idea of "soul" mainly refers to a Christian soul. Including perhaps the Buddhist and other oriental religions as "spiritual" enough to resonate with the Christian idea of soul!
Once, someone talking about the "soulless" said that a better definition of soul should be "intention". In fact, he continued, no one is without a soul, because deep inside everyone has his seed, his deep and profound intention, meaning.
When internet became public and you could still find incredibly deep researches as essays, I remember reading an article of a Buddhist monk.
[Before continuing, just a quick note to clarify that real Buddhism - not that new agey style "buddhism" spread in the west - is still a very "magic" religion, that include demons, intended more as the ancient Greek concept of "daimons"!]
That monk was writing that the majority of people around have "daimons" inside, very malicious ones. Unfortunately, we lost the capacity to perceive behind their appearance! (Of course I saved that link - it was still an incredible long and complicated string! - but after some years when internet became more and more at disposal of everybody and the quality dropped, that article disappeared, together with many others I had saved!)
Again that monk stated the existence of many different souls that confirmed the esoteric teaching of the Earth being a seaport, full of people coming from many different other worlds, outside the solar system.
Perhaps, indeed, Aspergers are from some other spaces out there in the infinite universe!
