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Healing

It is a long, painful and slow process healing. You must really be determined in going through all the internal and external mess of your "dis-ease".  The body and the spirit, not only have lost their balance, but also their spontaneous capacity to recover and the first signs of diseases appear. You can't heal the body if you don't begin with your massacred psyche first. It takes so long to go through all the pain you experienced. The psychological sufference is unspeakable. But there is no other choice. If you want to recover and redeem your life this is the inevitable first step. It may easily take years.   At the same time, in a very gentle way, you begin to take care of your body. No harsh treatment. Soft and kind cures to comfort your earthly warrior who strenuously fought for you and now feels done. It almost lost hope. This process is extremely challenging, bewildering, painful: physically and psychologically. But eventually, with God's help, you manage. An...
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This is another big thing for me. I decided I will celebrate Christmas on Christmas day, instead of continuing the much loved German tradition to celebrate it on the evening of the 24th.

In the evening I think it is magic, intense, evocative. And yet I decided otherwise. I feel it's time to change because I have changed so much inside. Magic has lost that sentimental flair and has become reality. I feel differently, I am different. Therefore my Christmas will be on the 25th.

Because I want to celebrate a festivity I have begun to think now how I want to decorate where I am eating, the plates and cutlery I will be using.

But, most important, the food. Unfortunately I don't have a good relationship with food. I eat in an extremely simple way and I enjoy my simple food a lot. I am vegetarian, almost totally vegan and I enjoy my simple cooking. As I mainly eat steamed or row vegetables with some cereal like rice, oat, polenta, pasta.

Trying to adopt a more festive menu I ended up ruining the festivity because I don't fancy that kind of food. Therefore my decision: I will simply eat my normal beloved food, but in a festive decorated choreography.

This decision has eliminated the annual anxiety about what I could eat and now I am even looking forward to my new Christmas!




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