Between four and five my mother began with what she called "discipline exercises". I had to learn that in life you don't do what you feel like but what you should do...
My capacity to endure became my theme. I was proud of my endurance volume.
Somehow it was in my late forties I remember the hint of a doubt, about the real value of my enduring no matter what, timidly began to touch me.
"The Mechanics of Enduring
Endurance is a necessary life skill. It builds character, fortitude, and emotional resilience.
When it works: It is vital for navigating temporary hardships (like grieving a loss, training for a goal, or weathering a difficult season at work).
The pitfall: Sometimes we fall into 'endurism'—tolerating fundamentally toxic or misaligned environments because we feel trapped. If you are simply surviving the workweek just to recover on the weekends, your lifestyle may need to be structurally re-examined." [by Google AI]
It was only in my seventies that I realised the value of escaping! There are situations that must be escaped immediately because you should never have been committed to. No matter what you claimed when you pledged to get involved with it, when you realise it's toxic you should immediately let it go and turn your back to it. Escaping becomes an act of pure wisdom!
"The Mechanics of Escaping
Escape provides immediate relief and distance from aversive states, danger, or overwhelm.
When it works: In dangerous situations, escaping is essential for survival. In daily life, stepping away from a stressful environment can give you the breathing room needed to regain perspective.
The pitfall: When escape becomes a chronic habit (escapism), it prevents you from addressing the root cause of your unhappiness." [by Google AI]
The problem is that when you got instilled, as a child and, in addition to that, you are an Asperger - a state that tends to function as a computer when you get an order... it becomes almost impossibile to perceive the survival instinct voice trying to overcome the blind and deaf command you received!
But now I finally discovered it. And I also learned something more. I realised that escaping is not always about leaving the stressors toxicity behind, escaping means also taking a momentarily pause, a rest to allow you restoring your energy so you can return to your life with more determination and clarity.
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