Tabula Rasa

There are many many things in life that go out of balance. Situations that deteriorate, because, as it was in my case, I was wrapped in a candid tolerance and sure that my same good will had a natural counter part in the other, therefore I never gave clear disapproval signals. Obviously things do not improve if you don't express very clearly that you are not willing to tolerate, for instance, their total lack of respect. This constant experience with my family never lit a clue inside me, until it was too late!

So, now what? Things have broken totally. And, in spite of all the efforts done, things kept going bad. Yes, I get it now: I wasn't responding properly to their nastiness. The situation expected from me a more decisive and sharp response, without conceding alternatives. But I kept being tolerant and comprehensive. Soo wrong.

I realised all that when finally I was out of the chaotic drama existing in my family relations! And I cut all ties. Things have become irreparable. I needed to wipe the slate clean: Tabula rasa!

Yes, at the time, I did indeed all wrong. But my inner intention was pure: I really wanted to find a way to create reciprocal respect. I didn't stick to the continuous humiliations, my goal was: let's go over it until finally we can meet, in honesty and with good will.

But these sentiments must be reciprocal. When they aren't: better leave immediately. 

A big unbalance has been created and honestly, now, I can't do anything else. At this point it's time for life to come in and put things in their natural order. 

If you’ve truly done all you can to fix the imbalance of something irremediably gone wrong: good! You’ve done what you could, and now it’s time to leave it to life.  

Everyone acts according to their abilities: a butterfly can do little to calm the charge of a bison. But life can: it’s strong and multi-skilled. Restoring balance is its specialty. After giving warning signs, if they go unnoticed, it acts swiftly: destroying everything to allow for rebuilding.  

So, when you see that in all honesty you can't fix something that is really important to you, the only remaining option is to leave it to life. Sooner or later balance will be restored.