Tuesday, 27 May 2025

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Never ending challenges

Sometimes with big, sometimes with just annoyances, life is a constant struggle. And often you aren't done yet with one big issue that suddenly a new one pops in. Yes, it's heavy and it doesn't get easier. The positive thing is that through the intense training we become quicker and better in copeing with it.

I found the following passage in one of Mère writings. 
"How many times in life does one meet people who become pacifists because they are afraid to fight, who long for rest before they have earned it, who are satisfied with a little progress and in their imagination and desires make it into a marvellous realisation so as to justify their stopping half-way.
 
In ordinary life, already, this happens so much. Indeed, this is the bourgeois ideal, which has deadened mankind and made man into what he is now: “Work while you are young, accumulate wealth, honour, position; be provident, have a little foresight, put something by, lay up a capital, become an official—so that later when you are forty you “can sit down”, enjoy your income and later your pension and, as they say, enjoy a well-earned rest.”—To sit down, to stop on the way, not to move forward, to go to sleep, to go downhill towards the grave before one’s time, cease to live the purpose of life-to sit down!
 
The minute one stops going forward, one falls back. The moment one is satisfied and no longer aspires, one begins to die. Life is movement, it is effort, it is a march forward, the scaling of a mountain, the climb towards new revelations, towards future realisations. Nothing is more dangerous than wanting to rest. It is in action, in effort, in the march forward that repose must be found, the true repose of complete trust in the divine Grace, of the absence of desires, of victory over egoism.
 
True repose comes from the widening, the universalisation of the consciousness. In the thick of action, in the very midst of the battle, the effort, you will know the repose of infinity and eternity."
The Mother [Collected Works of the Mother 1, 9:65] Mirra Alfassa, usually known as Mère was the spiritual companion of Sri Aurobindo. (Both present in the image) 

Sunday, 25 May 2025

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The Magus

This book is amazing! The Author, John Fowles, basically wants us to realise how easily human beings get manipulated through creating the illusion that if you follow what has been suggested you will obtain what you aspire to. 

Reality is reality, it is not fluid. But we know by now that changing our point of observation it can present itself in quite different ways. And they are all realities of the same reality. 

It comes to my mind a famous Hindu parable that illustrates how different perspectives can lead to different understandings of the same thing. 
There are a group of blind men in front of an elephant, that obviously they can't see. They are invited to touch it and say what it is. 
Each blind man touches a different part of the elephant (its side, trunk, tusk, leg, ear, or tail) and forms a conclusion based on that limited experience. They state that the elephant is like a barrel, snake, spear, tree, fan, or rope, respectively, without ever fully understanding the whole animal.  

But not only our own point of view plays a big role in not grasping reality.
Very astute manipulators are able to present reality in such a distorted way that, even if reality remains what it is and doesn't change, through a clever way to bend its appearance, they offer it in such a manner that catch the favour of the listeners/viewers.

And unfortunately the dullness of mind belongs to the majority. We have seen so many shocking examples by now of the majority believing in such distorted statements, which were totally and evidently impossible, but the dull minded majority chose to believe them. And the results were/are really nasty!

In the book, the Author presents appearances, that although appealing, they may be questionable, and they should be reviewed with care, detachment, objectivity. John Fowles, the Author, through his book states that reality is often a construct shaped by very personal perception, belief, interpretation and desire. People tend to believe that their deepest wishes may simply turn into reality choosing the instant "magic wand" they are being offered. Easy peasy! 

He highlights how individuals create and live within their own illusions, suggesting that understanding the nature of these illusions leads to widen one's perspective and awareness and personal growth.

The freedom of choice we have should always be the result of self-examination and moral testing. Very important is to switch on a kind of remote viewing to confront the possible consequences of one's decisions. 

On the other hand, it is unquestionable that often there are limits in our autonomy: external forces and internal fears influence human behaviour. In the book it is emphasised the importance of embracing uncertainty and accepting responsibility for one’s choices, even if we were fooled. Because through all these experiences we may learn and grow. 

And, this is my personal affirmation: we are here on Earth to learn and grow. We should take every opportunity to evolve. The worse experiences are usually the most intense teachings we get.
And somehow we should be grateful for them! 

Saturday, 24 May 2025

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Female Autism and Asperger


Having discovered that I am an Asperger only a few years ago, when I was almost 70, I keep reading a lot about it. As every psychiatric issue, the definitions are never clearly contouring the edges, they are instead quite fluid. Many aspects are at the borders, confining with "normality" or with even heavier "psychiatric disurbances".

Knowing more about it doesn't change the situation. But having struggled so much in my entire life with trying to resonate with the others around me and, although managing, even quite well in playing the role that I chose - the one that I taylored putting together my strength with the way the different societies (countries) in which I lived seemed to respond positively, finally becoming aware of the problem, gives me the reason why I am so desperately different. 

The other day I watched a video on YouTube where a British researcher, Gina Rippon, has focused her studies on female autism and Asperger syndrome.

Here the main points:
1 Autism research and diagnosis have historically been male-focused, leading to missed diagnoses in females.  
 -Male-biased autism research limits understanding: The vast majority of early autism studies only included males, skewing models of autism and leaving female presentations poorly understood. This male bias in foundational research underpins diagnostic tools that fail to capture how autism manifests differently in females and leads to systemic underdiagnosis.  
2 Girls with autism, much more than boys, usually camouflage their traits, as an answer to social pressures exerted on female sex, making therefore the diagnosis more difficult.
-Camouflaging masks autism in females through socialization pressures teach girls to "mask" autism — consciously imitating non-autistic behaviors, rehearsing social scripts, and suppressing natural autistic behaviors. This camouflaging not only hides symptoms from clinicians but also causes significant psychological exhaustion and can contribute to anxiety, depression, and burnout later in life. Recognising camouflaging is critical to understanding female autism.    
3 Female autistic brains show different responses to social stimuli compared to males, indicating different underlying neurological patterns.  
-There are neurological differences between autistic males and females. Brain imaging studies reveal autistic females respond strongly to social rejection and exhibit continuous self-monitoring, whereas autistic males often show underactivity in social reward areas. This indicates females may be more motivated to engage socially yet face greater difficulties in doing so, highlighting the need for gender-sensitive diagnostics and interventions.   
4 The transition to adolescence and secondary school is a critical period where difficulties in camouflaging autism often become evident.   
-Adolescence is a tipping point: The complexity and social demands of adolescence and secondary school often overwhelm autistic girls’ compensatory strategies, leading to emotional distress, mental health crises, and increased visibility of autistic traits. This transition is a crucial period for identification and support, demonstrating the importance of developmental considerations in diagnosis.   
5 Increasing awareness of autism’s gender differences is crucial for evolving diagnostic criteria and clinical practice.   
-Need for revised clinical frameworks and awareness as the current “gold standard” diagnostic tools are algorithm-driven and based on male-centric behavioral presentations, perpetuating bias against recognizing female autism. The field requires updated diagnostic criteria, clinician education, and public awareness to identify the broad spectrum of autistic presentations inclusive of gender diversity. 
6 Early diagnosis allows for better support, strategies, and accommodations, improving life outcomes.  
-Early diagnosis benefits autistic females profoundly. Identifying autism early allows for the development of coping strategies, access to accommodations, and education about sensory and social differences, easing distress and improving life trajectory. It also provides a positive framework for self-understanding rather than lifelong confusion or misattribution of symptoms.   
7 Late diagnosis of autism in women leads to mental health struggles but also relief and identity when they finally receive a diagnosis. 
-The late diagnosis journey as a relief and a challenge. For many women diagnosed in adulthood, autism diagnosis retrospectively explains lifelong struggles and brings a sense of self-acceptance and "belonging". However, late diagnosis often comes after years of misdiagnosis, mental health issues, and lack of support, underscoring the damage caused by gender-biased diagnostic practices.  

SUMMARY 
Over the past decade, there has been growing recognition of a previously overlooked population: late-diagnosed autistic women. These women often have difficult life experiences shaped by undiagnosed autism, and their stories have uncovered significant gaps in the understanding and diagnosis of autism, particularly regarding gender differences. Autism traditionally has been viewed through a male-centric lens, which has shaped diagnostic criteria, scientific research, and societal perceptions. Historically, autism was characterized by traits such as social aloofness, repetitive behaviors, and a lack of interest in social contact—features primarily identified in boys and men.

The diagnostic criteria for autism, as outlined in current psychiatric manuals, focus on social interaction difficulties, repetitive behaviors or 'stimming,' obsessive interests, resistance to change, and sensory sensitivities. However, these categories emerged mainly from studies predominantly involving males. This male bias has contributed to a misleading stereotype of autism as a condition primarily affecting males. Women with autism often display different behavioral profiles and sensory experiences that do not fit neatly into these established diagnostic benchmarks, leading to underdiagnosis or misdiagnosis.

The initial epidemiological studies suggested a 4:1 ratio of autistic males to females, a statistic that became widely accepted and reinforced a clinical bias that girls were less likely to be autistic or that their autism was less severe. This led to a cycle where females with autism were often overlooked because their symptoms were masked or camouflaged. Girls, shaped by socialization, often develop sophisticated coping strategies to blend in. Fir instance: mimicking social behavior, monitoring interactions meticulously, and rehearsing social scripts. This camouflaging makes their autism less visible, complicating diagnosis.

Neuroscientific research initially focused almost exclusively on males, which limited insights into the female autistic brain. When females were included in later studies, they exhibited different neurological responses, especially to social stimuli and rejection. While males with autism often show diminished response or hypoactivity in social reward systems, autistic females tend to show heightened sensitivity and constant self-monitoring in social situations, driven by a strong motivation but difficulty finding effective means to interact socially.

The social and cognitive mask worn by many autistic females can become difficult to maintain through adolescence, especially as social environments become more complex and demanding, such as transitioning from primary to secondary school. This period is often described as a “perfect storm” where camouflaging fails, leading to increased distress, mental health challenges, and sometimes crisis behaviors. Early diagnosis, therefore, is critical, providing autistic girls with understanding, strategies, and accommodations that can relieve lifelong burdens.

Receiving a diagnosis later in life often brings a profound sense of relief and identity to autistic women, helping them understand their past difficulties and connect with others who share similar experiences. However, systemic barriers in healthcare, education, and cultural misconceptions about autism continuing to enforce male-centered perspectives hinder timely diagnosis and appropriate support for females.

The interview concludes with a hopeful call for increased awareness and revised diagnostic frameworks that better capture the female autistic experience. Recognition of this diversity within autism will allow for more accurate identification, improved support, and better quality of life for autistic women.
 

Tuesday, 20 May 2025

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Shikasta

I red it around my 20s and left an indelible mark on me, because while reading it, "something" within, it total surprise, kept saying: "exactly, it is like that". Surprise because life on Earth, since I began to awake my first hints of awareness about being here, could never find a resonance with this place. I was an alien and I felt as such. 

This is the first novel in Doris Lessing's Canopus in Argos: Archives series. It presents the history of Earth (referred to as Shikasta) from a cosmic perspective, primarily through the documents and reports of the emissaries of Canopus, a benevolent and highly evolved galactic empire.
The narrative reveals that in its early days, Earth, then called Rohanda, was a flourishing planet nurtured by Canopus through astral currents and a vital energy called SOWF ("Substance-of-We-Feeling"). This connection fostered a harmonious and advanced civilisation. However, a cataclysmic cosmic event severed this "Lock" with Canopus, leading to a decline in SOWF and the subsequent degeneration of humanity.

A malevolent empire, Shammat, seizes this opportunity to exert its negative influence on Shikasta, fostering selfishness, conflict, and ultimately leading humanity down a path of self-destruction. Secret Canopean emissaries, including the central figure Johor (who incarnates in various forms throughout history), are repeatedly sent to Shikasta to try and guide humanity back towards a more harmonious existence aligned with the "Purpose" of the universe.

The book chronicles key periods in Earth's history, reinterpret events like the biblical flood and the Tower of Babel within this cosmic framework. A significant portion of the novel focuses on the 20th century, depicted as the "Period of the Last Days," marked by increasing violence, ideological conflict, and the threat of nuclear annihilation.

Of course I felt an immediate strong resonance with Johor, especially in one of his human incarnations, when he was George Sherban in the 20th century. Observing the situations, on Earth (Shikasta), around him, he often feels the strong urge to intervene, especially when he recognises someone of previous lives together, with whom he even became friend, and want to warn them, for impending danger or a negative outcome. But, let's call it a "voice" from within, stops him. It's the guidance of Canopus who reminds him the larger cosmic plan, which usually requires non-interference even when individual suffering is evident. 

In fact the nature of Canopean Intervention to influence Shikasta is subtle and indirect. Direct interference is usually avoided to give space to free will and learning through experience, even if those experiences are harsh. 

Nevertheless, Johor being a human now, situations like these create in him a profound internal conflict, a deep struggle between his strong empathy and the acceptance of larger cosmic forces at play. So, his frustration feelings of powerlessness are clearly evident. 

Yes, these are very familiar feelings... 

Thursday, 15 May 2025

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Wings

What an awkward day!
Strong inexplicable pressure inside, everything pulsing, whatever I approached didn't work, growing frustration and uneasiness... 

At some time in the afternoon I gave up. I took out a rune for me: Dagaz: the passage from one state to another... But incredibly, tooking it out, I saw the rune was broken! Couldn't understand how possibly the stone would break in the bag I keep them!

Finally I decided to lie down. What a strange thing happened. I felt myself suspended in some dark cosmic environment. It was so calm and totally still, motionless. I realised then my entire undefined being was in total intense fibrillation. As if composed by millions of energy sparks in constant movement, so that it looked like a Kaleidoscope of lights, glittering, changing colours and brightness.

I understood that I just needed to accept, welcome, this twinkling being who was me. I didn't need to move or do anything, as the universe around would naturally adjust to me...

At some time I felt my shimmering shape becoming taller and thinner. I realised the body looked like a rod with something attached that gave me the idea of a flag, somehow fluttering wildly while strongly glowing. I perceived the "flag" being attached to the upper part of my back.

Eventually I realised the flag was in reality wings, still stuck together, but trying to liberate themselves and become two distinct wings.

Me, within that shimmering being, in total surprise and awe. Realising I had wings! I felt them strongly attached to my back, between the shoulders... 

When I got up, the feeling of the wings continued, and still now that I am writing, they are still here!