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Letting go

You finally forgot all the wickedness of your family when even the memories within your cells have been cleansed. It's a long process. It includes wiping away every memory that keeps popping up shouting at you: "Look what have they done to you!" - "Look what you allowed them!" - "Look how blind you were!" The thing is that you did see the wickedness, but you couldn't believe they were so malevolent. "It's family: they can't wish me bad... " In reality: they can!  Exactly your very own parents, siblings, or children can often incarnate very hostile presences. An this is a tremendous reality to metabolise. Within, you can firmly choose to let everything go. Little by little you begin to perceive a feeling in your body, some kind of inner movement, as if the subtle body were slowly slipping out from a tight inner membrane, that was completely enveloping you. And you feel like becoming lighter and lighter... Until you are ...

playing...


I was playing chess with life and somehow I managed. No big victories though. 
The good thing in this game is that when you perform a valuable act you get back one or more pieces you previously lost, while the opponent loses the same number of piece/s you gained. 
Fair enough I suppose. 

Then the almost nine years spent with my schizophrenic mother arrived and it was a real massacre! The only left piece was the king: me! And all the rest butchered.

It took years to recover physically and psychologically. 
But now my pieces are all back. I understood sooo many things that indeed, I must say I feel grateful. Nothing smoother could have taught me so much!

Now I am ready to play the second round! 

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