Don't open that door

 

Once dishonest: dishonesty will always stalk you. Once you trespassed that door, even when you think you have closed it behind you, the groove you have drawn remains. That door will always be lurking in the inevitable shadows of life. In a moment of  inattention, of tiredness, of an unbalanced interior state, the infamous door will wink at you, promising prompt and easy solutions!

If you are not totally honest, it is difficult to leave dishonesty behind!

Therefore be very cautious with people who have been dishonest, even when they claim it was a phase in their life, now over… The door to dishonesty had been opened once, and it will always be lurking in the shadow, waiting for the right moment to wink…

 

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Getting rid of bonds

 

Step after step, getting rid of bonds, malicious bonds, which hold you captive like in a mold, a matrix, you learned to consider your skin…

It takes time.

The first step is to realise you are in a mold. When you fully realise it, you just want to liberate yourself, and yet you can’t. Every time you try to cut the ties that keep you in the mold, you simply can’t. Fear and strong guilt feelings are the major hindrance. Therefore you step back, suddenly ashamed of yourself for that kind of pride that pushes you out of the common rules, daring too much. Now you see how wild you were. Submissive and obedient you feel docile and pious again, and the blessings pour onto you. You are back, well protected inside the mold.

And yet, after some time here it is again: that deep push inside. Again you feel tremendously lucid in your thoughts and feelings. You clearly see the inner prison which binds you like in a spell. You realise that indeed: it is a spell! And again you feel that terrible urge inside to severing ties. But you can’t. There is not enough strength inside.

Once again, the rebellious wave calms down and once more you humbly go back in the ranks.

Eventually, one day, totally out of the blue, without any sign that could reveal you were getting ready, something of minor importance happens, and you simply cut off everything which was still binding you to situations and people, holding you hostage in their emotional and pseudo moral blackmail! And you are out of the mold, out of the matrix. Surprised that everything happened without any effort, but very smoothly, simply and naturally!

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So it's: Christmas!

 

 

 

Everything is fine and yes, smoothly going on. A lot of gratitude is in my heart!

[Music: Pixabay Alex_Vlas]

 

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Quite Tough

(In the image the last full moon in Gemini on the 15th of December 2024)

At the beginning of November I switched on the heating and after one day I discovered an intense condensation on two windows. So intense that it was literally dropping water onto the floor.

I had to solve it and I also decided to make drastically changes. I completely switched three rooms.

I am used to move. This one was number 25 (I am pretty sure it will be the last one of my life). Just to say that with all this experience I am used to thoroughly plan everything, not only the way to pack and prepare the carton boxes, but also and especially the way to dispose the furniture, according to the house characteristics. For instance I study the sun position: never ever have the kitchen facing West in Italy, it’s a nightmare in summer! And also many other aspects, mainly from the Feng Shui perspective, so that every room ends up in the perfect position.

This time I didn’t realise that a room has a wall confining with the outside (and not with another flat). I didn’t check thoroughly the backside, therefore the bad surprise. The room is colder and the cold is even more perceptible because of the humidity from the window.

Eventually I solved the condensation problem, while in the meantime I moved completely the three rooms. That meant I had to empty all the wardrobes, in order to be able to push them into the room I wanted them to be now.

I am used to change the disposition of the furniture. After some time I can’t stand the same “view” of the room. But it is the first time I drastically change everything. Alone.

I am healthy. I always have been a passionate health… yes, perhaps even a bit: fanatic. Healthy food, healthy breathing, healthy approach, meditation, walking, …. But I can’t stop the natural process of aging. Therefore I feel more and more my becoming weaker and weaker. Fit, yes, but weak – if compared to before.

I spent the month of November searching a solution against the condensation and planning a more suitable disposition of the rooms.

With the New Moon in Sagittarius, giving me the necessary strength to fulfill my project, I boldly began to move the furniture around. Realising how much time now I was taking to accomplish things that once seemed so much doable, and finally ending with the Full Moon in Gemini (my sign) that, being full, it represents the end. And I am indeed at the end; exhausted.

I feel completely squeezed. My energy has totally dropped. I am done.

Since two weeks I am going to the nearby thermae where I take a steam bath and then I swim in the thermal swimming pool. It’s regenerating. When I go out I feel gorgeous. Unfortunately after some daily chores, as well as shopping, I am back down, exhausted.

This is getting older. I have to get used to it and stop planning things to do with the same boldness I had before. It doesn’t work now.

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