Wednesday, 20 November 2024

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My slow time

 


Learning to welcome the slow time, where everything is smooth, slow, silent…

It doesn’t come on its own. I have to impose it: stay here, quiet, do not move, just be, … at peace.

Although I have been a deep meditator, being in the slow time is really different. Meditation, in spite of the exterior and interior immobility, is an active action. Being quiet, with yourself while doing nothing, is extremely passive. And extremely healthy.

Now my time is my time and my space is only mine! I still have to get used to it!

Monday, 11 November 2024

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Out Of Egypt

 

I finished reading this book. I liked it immensely. I bought it because it speaks of a family, a Jewish family, who after various odysseys ended up in Egypt, in Alexandria.

Although my father’s family wasn’t Jewish, they had the same destiny and they ended up in Cairo.

My grandfather, a utopistic young man just graduated in architecture, had a fierce disagreement with the prime minister of the time, which brutally turned out in my grandfather being exiled.

When you emigrate you leave your country keeping it deeply in your heart. When you are exiled, your country has rejected you. You don’t take it with you. You feel betrayed by your own country.

My grandfather and his young family began travel the world. His children were born in all continent, a part from Asia – or perhaps not even Asia if Australia is considered belonging to that continent (or perhaps it isn’t?). The family acquired an international flair, not really connected to any country in particular. But at the end, they settled in Cairo, and Egypt became the only home they ever had.

Reading the book I found so many aspects of everyday life in Egypt that I had already known, because of the many memories shared with us about their normal life, there. It was like listening to my father and his sisters and brothers, when they met and spoke about their time there. The people of the many nations they had to do with: mainly Greeks, French, Italians, and of course British – being Egypt under British protectorate.

It was a real strange feeling. Through the words in the book, the description of the different people there, the different languages they all spoke… it was indeed like listening to my father’s family. And it was moving on one side, and very awkward on the other.

I can’t say anything else, I am still feeling strange inside.

 

Thursday, 7 November 2024

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Greenery

 

 

I put my few plants inside. Once I had a very large terrace and a small flat. Now I have a very large home and a tiny covered balcony. Not much space for many plants. Nevertheless I do have a few. The temperature has been sinking to 6/8 degrees Celsius. It was time to put my plants inside.

Taking care of my home gives me such a serene feeling. Now I have time to enjoy my space, to take care of my things, but first of all to take care of me!

Quite a new experience for me that I spent all my like taking care of the others!

 

Saturday, 2 November 2024

The old skin

 

Some nights ago I had a “special” dream. Special dreams for me are not just a psychological expression of the inner state, but they also open up a new door, a possibility which up to the moment seemed unthinkable.

In the dream I was in a new home, which seemed to stand solitary in the hills. From that height I could see all the soft hills that surrounded us. From the landscape I could guess it was between late summer and the beginning of autumn. The season I have always loved the most.

The house reminded me of an ancient watchtower with a kitchen on the ground floor, a living room on the first floor and a bedroom on the second floor. 

In the dream I was in the living room, happily tiding up while now and then looking out of the two windows of that tiny sitting area. I felt so relieved of being there, I felt the happiness that inner peace grants you.

Sometimes I went to one or the other window, and leaning against the sill my gaze indulged on the hilly horizon. So peaceful and fulfilling!

While breathing in the fresh air of that beautiful day I realised that one of my cat, the round red cat, was beside me, staring at a small wood inlet in the window. I looked and I saw a small coiled snake, black with some yellow that reminded me of arrows.

I was surprised and upset. What am I supposed to do now, I wondered with anxiety. My red cat tried to touch him with his his chubby paw. The snake played dead.

I looked around to see where the other cat was, a very elegant black cat. He was sleeping. Thank God, I thought, I didn’t want them both to be here, together, trying to play catch with the little snake.

Meanwhile the snake was trying to figure out how to escape. My red cat was waiting and after a while he seemed plunged into meditation. Suddenly the snake slid forward quickly, trying to escape. Let’s hope he manages it, I thought, I didn’t want to even think of how to save him! The whole thing was deeply bothering me.

Then I saw he was losing its old skin. Oh, no, not that too! While fixing the old skin left behind, the little snake disappeared quickly, the cat awoke from its slumber, and I got the idea: I took dustpan and brush, and threw the old skin out of the other window, as my red cat was still casing the sill wondering about the snake.

When I got rid of the little snake’s old skin I felt finally at ease and with relief I looked up at the sky, I saw swallows flying around, I heard their sound and I intensely felt the energy of Spring (but we were in almost autumn, weren’t we?!) and a deep relief inside mixed with an acute, almost overwhelming happiness. Next thing I know I was flying in the sky together with the swallows! How divine!

 

Friday, 1 November 2024

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Sending love to them

 

Almost out of all the hustle and bustle of my life I can conciliate my everyday, now, with the things and situations which bring harmony to my heart.

Yesterday was the Day of the Dead, dedicated to remember the beloved ones living now on the other side. Being our family so tremendously scattered, also the dead ones are scattered here and there. Besides I hate cemeteries, especially in Italy. Although they are considered very artistic, and quite a few are even suggested in the guide tours for tourists, I really dislike them. Most of them are in the Neoclassical style of the nineteenth century. Which strongly reminds me of my grandparents house: neoclassic, cold, austere… Just like them.

And yet, in my commemoration, everyone is included. Because I know that life is hard to cope with, and in the mess that we have to face, many people forget the real priorities, that can’t – or better said: shouldn’t be put aside. As otherwise, the family will bear the consequences.

Sharpness, coldness, detachment, incorrectness, and even dishonesty… these are unfortunately the wrongdoings that far too often are manifested in one’s family.

For my commemoration I bought a yellow-gold chrysanthemum plant and a very red cyclamen. If I am not mistaken, chrysanthemum represents eternal life, while cyclamen love. And this is what I am sending them all, out of my heart.